A Simple Spaghetti Recipe
One job I think I'd be good at is the guy who texts you when your loved one dies. I've got compassion, and I'm tech savvy.
Another thing I'm good at is spaghetti. Spaghetti seems like it would be difficult, but it isn't. Just fill a big pot about halfway with water, and set it on high on the stove till it boils over. Then, add a tablespoon of salt, stir it in, and let it come back to temp. Next, dump a box of spaghetti into the pot, and when it starts to get out of control with water about to spill out, dial back the fire to medium or medium low. Don't forget to set a timer for ten or eleven minutes, which is when it'll be done.
While all that is going on, or before if you're organized, squeeze some minced garlic out of the bottle into a mixing bowl. Use more than you think you'll need, because any amount of garlic is the right amount of garlic, especially if you use a lot. Don't tell Matthew Beaudin you're using bottled garlic, or you'll never hear the end of it. Add olive oil and mix it all together.
If you're lucky, like me, your wife will have left some tomatoes on the counter she was planning to eat later. Stick those in a pan with some butter and olive oil, and cook them till you think they're done, and the stove is covered in splattered oil. Add those to the bowl of olive oil and garlic.
Once the timer goes off at ten or eleven minutes, use a pair of tongs to fish out a spaghetti to make sure it's cooked the way you like. Put it on a paper towel next to the stove before sticking it in your mouth so that you don't burn yourself or end up with too many strands. If it's good, turn off the fire and grab the pot of spaghetti with your bare hands or oven mitts, and pour it through a spaghetti strainer. Make sure all the water's gone and transfer the spaghetti to a big mixing bowl. Pour the olive oil, garlic, and tomatoes onto the bowled spaghetti, and you're pretty much done except for the eating. Some people add cheese, but I don't see why. Cheese should only be eaten on pizza.
If, while eating spaghetti, you happen to get a text, that could be me with that message about your loved one. Wait till you're done eating, as there's nothing you can do about it now.
