What I Really Want Right Now Is A Hamburger

You ever crave something? Of course you do. Right now, for me, a hamburger would be just the thing. I don’t want to make it myself, not just because there’s no hamburger meat. Or buns. Or French fries. I want to leave the house, and Zookie’s goddamn incessant barking. I also want somebody else to make my hamburger. A professional. Nothing against my own cooking, which has gotten a lot better over time.

I could just eat a can of soup. That would be all right. Have you had those Progresso soups in the silver cans? They’re good. Three minutes in the microwave, but not in the can. Pour it into a Pyrex first. I can eat that and the rest of the chocolate chip cookies. That would be all right.

It’s exactly 32ºF right now, according to Apple Weather. And it’s gray out. Been that way for a few days now. Losing track. I don’t mind the gray, but as cold as it is in the house, I’d like to be in a hot pool, instead. Fired up the heater, which makes me feel like I shouldn’t leave the house for that hamburger.

There’s also a leftover chicken leg quarter. I BBQ’d four of them two days ago. Down to the last one. If I eat that last chicken leg quarter, it would be the first time I’ve eaten all the leftovers since I don’t know when. I get tired of leftovers. I know people repurpose their leftovers so it doesn’t feel like you’re eating the same thing over and over, but I’m spoiled that way. Besides, I enjoy the cooking process way more than the eating.

I’m pretty good at roast vegetables now. But I wonder if vegetables are really as good for you as people say they are. What if they’re not? What if the way we felt about vegetables as children is actually the right way to feel about vegetables?

Think I’ll go out and get a hamburger.