But Wait, There’s More
Part One
I don't feel like pounding the pavement again just yet. So I'll just sit here and dispense advice, since you all want me to. Having worked at CapEd Credit Union as a roaming teller almost long enough to graduate probation, and having owned my own IT business for 23 years, and being old as the trees that aren't nearly as bountiful as the name "Boise" implies, I've got something unique to offer. I only say "unique," because it's a trigger for the algorithm, and hopefully that'll get me hired. Did I mention I'm looking for a full time job?
Let's first start with the financial advice. I learned this from members coming in to withdraw large sums of money, though not enough to have to fill in a form for the feds. For argument's sake, we'll say $4000, like that Russian guy I should have kicked out for being an asshole. Now before you jump all over my case for singling out the Russian, my grandparents lived in Russia, fled Russia, and couldn't give a fig about Russia. The Russian asshole who came into our branch wasn't even a member. If I remembered his name, I'd tell you, along with his social security number, just to make this fun.
As part of my job, I would ask members (in a nice way) what they were planning to do with the money. The Russian asshole said "none of your business. Buy cocaine." Which is why my leader, Cassidy, had to intervene, just to keep the conversation flowing in a positive direction.
By the way, just to be clear, I'm not saying he was an asshole because he was Russian. I'm just saying he was an asshole. And no, I don't really care if LinkedIn kicks me out. I've been fired from the credit union for less than this. I can take it.
Come to think of it, he wasn't Russian, he was Ukrainian. Still an asshole.
Forget it. I asked another member if they were planning to do something fun with the money. She said, "no, I'm going to pay my taxes."
Now I remember the point of all this. Financial advice. Which is this, and I told her, "don't pay your taxes." And I said it really loud, so everyone could hear. Because that's the kind of teller I am. Or was.
Quit your job. Don't pay your taxes. Let somebody else take care of you.
That's honestly what you should do, unless you like what you do. In which case, get fired, like I did. It's not so much that I liked what I did. I can name you dozens of reasons why that job was wrong for me, and why I was wrong for that job. Starting with how they throw you, unprepared, to the tender mercies of the members. Granted, they train you and watch your back, because they're basically good people, but still it was nerve wracking, wondering what fresh hell the day would bring. I was so on edge I had to give up coffee. And now that I'm gone, I'm too freaked out to ever drink coffee again. Is that grounds for a suit? I'm sure it's grounds for something.
One last thought about assholes. You can be one no matter where you're from. Russia, Ukraine, anywhere in Eastern Europe. You can also NOT be an asshole. If your teller asks you what you're planning to do with your $4000, tell them, especially if you're not a member of the damn credit union. That's what NOT being an asshole boils down to. You don't need me to tell you that, you already know deep in your heart whether you're being one or not.
Maybe the real reason I got fired was for being an asshole, or maybe it really was for posting this link to my PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON, YOU'RE IN MIDDLETON NOW Christmas show. Nobody knows, nobody cares, and nobody's going to tell me. I'll draw my own conclusions, but let's face it, I'm too pretty for radio, and TV's not ready for me yet. Guess I'll shut up now.
